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  • Writer's pictureCici Joch

Growth and Pain or growing pain

After spending 5 weeks on our boat so much growth happened, and it was not all pretty! We all grow in our own times and you cannot set expectations on someone else's growth, it's something I notice often in coaching. We want the other to change because we are changing- unfortunately it doesn't work that way. The best thing you can do is to change yourself and try to withhold judgment. I say try because it is so hard to do.

So after our sailing experiment I felt so much sadness, l was sad that I didn't like it more and was disappointed in myself for not being able to turn it into an amazing experience. I really didn't like it, and I felt bad I didn't like it and I felt guilty I didn't want to spend every hour of every day with my family! The lessons however were invaluable and I wouldn't change it for the world. First, I had to sit with all of my emotions and welcome them: the sadness, the guilt, the disappointment, the frustration...all of it...and we all had a chat and then sat at the dinner table and did more sitting...feeling the emotions is what I tell my clients...sitting and simmering in your sh*& is no fun! It is however the only way to growth. So after sitting in all this and processing the next lesson was to give myself compassion. How often do we give ourselves compassion? We give it to everyone around us but to ourselves? Treat yourself the same way you treat your best friend. Would you make your best friend feel guilty and disappointed and frustrated? Hello no!

On a final note, I can now say that I am happy to report guilt-free that I do not wish to spend the next year with my family 24/7. I am a much better partner and mother when I have my own space and when I am connecting with others outside of my family. So I am very thankful for this sailing experience.

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