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  • Cici Joch

Quitting Motherhood

I would like to announce that I officially quit motherhood...I mean, really...just putting those two words together sounds funny, doesn't it?

You can quit a job, a partner, a situation, a friend, a place but how do you quit motherhood?


Well, this past weekend I experimented with it and I am happy to report that it was fabulous.


So how did I pull it off?


I sent the kids off with their dad for the weekend and decided that I would not engage in any conversations regarding them, so that meant no text messages or talking to them on the phone. It also meant accepting that they most likely wouldn't brush their teeth, hair, shower or do homework if I were to not act as a mother...I had to let go of control.


So I spent two days not thinking about anyone but ME. It was awful... just kidding!


My favorite part of the weekend:


- NO AGENDA

- FREEDOM

- FLEXIBILITY

- MENTAL SPACE RESET

- JUST TIME TO BE with a capital B

- ZERO EXPECTATIONS

- STAYING UP LATE

- SLEEPING IN

- CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST!

- NAPPING

- DANCING

- LAUGHING

- FEELING LIGHT

- FEELING CAREFREE

- FEELING YOUNG, I mean YOUNGER!


My least favorite part:

- That it ended!


This time off allowed me to reassemble my thought files, it felt like a defrag for the brain! I was able to press pause on life, my life as a mother, parent, care taker, cook, referee, driver, laundry folder, shopper, planner, organizer, cleaner, back scratcher, story teller, nurse, teacher, nurturer, guide...It was a needed break.


So what happened after I quit motherhood? Well, nobody got hurt and everyone survived perfectly fine! Turns out they can actually do life without me for a weekend! I know for some of us it's not easy to let go and the idea of making ourselves dispensable goes against the idea of being a good mother...we want to feel indispensable but in the end we are hurting our children and ourselves. Let them fall and get up on their own so they can trust themselves and not depend on us to get up.


This weekend, I reconnected with myself. I was reminded of how fun and carefree I used to be. And guess what? I am still that person. I actually liked what I found. It wasn't nostalgic but on the contrary it was like coming home and honoring all the different sides of me that can come out when the timing is right, and who chooses the timing? I DO! How empowering is that?! Do I get lost in the daily grind with the chores and responsibilities, NEVER. Just kidding! Of course I do, all the time. I get stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated often AND I also know that it is the beauty of having contrast. 10 years ago before becoming a mom I loved my freedom, flexibility, fun, carefree spirit but that's all I knew...Now, I appreciate it SO MUCH MORE!


Quitting motherhood for a weekend was the best decision I could have made for myself or my family. At the end of the weekend we were all so excited to see each other and reunite, feeling refreshed and energized. They had so much fun they didn't miss me and my husband was very supportive and loved his time with them too. And yes they didn't shower or brush their teeth all weekend!


And so it is :)




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