The irony of parenting...
I don't know about you but I have found myself in soooo many situations where I totally contradicted myself. For example, this morning, Sasha started yelling at me and what did I do? I yelled back at her to stop yelling at me!!!! The irony was not lost on me and definitely not on Sasha who replied back ""but you're yelling at me!!!".
In this moment I could feel my ego wanting to scream, "you need to respect me because I am your mother..." yes I was going into a power trip! So much for conscious parenting in these moments!!! So what to do?
First: permission to be human and screw up! Yes you are human, and part of this human experience is to make mistakes because that's how we grow.
Second: Permission to own your mistake. I know I don't like to be wrong and especially when my 7 year old points it out! I have learned over time to not only own it for myself but also for her so she can see that making mistakes is part of life. Children learn from their care givers and if we make mistakes and show vulnerability by owning and apologizing they will do the same as adults. Also, they will have an understanding that nobody is perfect and you should never assume that of another human being. We are all flawed so don't give your power away.
Third: Forgiveness. Ask for forgiveness and show compassion for yourself. Again, another great opportunity to teach a valuable lesson. Kids certainly have this magical ability to be in the present moment and move on but they also tend to blame themselves very easily so it's important that they see how to forgive themselves.
Every interaction, especially conflicting interactions are an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson and grow. One question I ask myself that's been very useful is "what's the lesson in this?" It helps me detach from the emotional tumult in that moment- of course being able to remember to ask that question is half the battle!