2 days ago I woke up and looked in the mirror and decided I needed a haircut. I didn't like what I saw in the mirror- this is a new feeling for me. Not that I an a narcissist who loves to look at herself but I was always fine with my looks. I actually never spent much time taking care of myself or looking in the mirror. Since turning 40 I see every single wrinkle and I don't like it. I am trying to embrace that this is all of me but dammit...how did all these wrinkles show up the day I turned 40?! Living in Florida it felt that everyone around me was doing Botox and I didn't want to go that route. The main reason being that I didn't want to have poison injected in my face. I try to eat healthy and spend extra money on organic food so injecting poison in my blood stream goes against my beliefs. However, truth be told I really want to do it and I hate that I want to do it!!! Anyway, The past few months have been tough, every time I look in the mirror my wrinkles seem to be getting bigger and bigger. Look, I have had a full life so far. I partied hard, lived in the sun for 20 years and taking care of my skin seemed like a total waste of time!!! So that's what I get! So after we moved to Normandie I figured that I would become indifferent to my wrinkles since people here are not into Botox. I was wrong. I didn't become indifferent despite the fact that people are not into Botox. I started to look at myself and feel old...yucky...I haven't liked that feeling at all. So after sitting in these feelings for a few months (that was way too long btw) I decided to do something about it.
First, I became a cougar. No, I am just kidding!
While I didn't become a cougar I have decided to tap into my own sexuality and joined Layla Martin's VITA program. She is all about tantra and reaching consciousness through sexuality. It's very wild and crazy, so perfect for what I am looking for! I just started so I don't have much to go by but we practiced breathwork last night. It was my first breathwork experience and I didn't feel much, will practice again this week.
Second, I cut my hair. Yes, I was ready for a new face, I love change!
Third, it's still in the process of bringing more fun into my life. Moving to Normandie has been great; however, not so fun. Life is nice and quiet here! So far I have started dancing daily. I need to add more to this list! Being a cougar might be the way to go...JK.
What I know is I am ready to step into my full power and shine bright in all my divinity. I am more than just a mom, and I am bringing sexy back!